In-de-ci-sion: Reluctance or inability to make up one’s mind; irresolution.
I am terribly indecisive. I make pro & cons lists, gather copious amounts of data, and wear my friends and family down with repetitive scenario analyses. My discussions with “The Doctor” on this topic have led me to the conclusion that I am a hierarchical decision maker…I need data…and plenty of it. The larger the decision is, the more information that I need to feel confident I am making the correct choice; however, in my strivings to place my life in the Lords’ hands, I am required to step-back and determine His will for me in all things.
For years, I have ridden the proverbial fence on the subject of alcohol and its presence, or lack thereof, in my life. I have abstained and partaken in varying gradients dependent upon my feelings at the time and at several points in my life, have been completely apathetic. I have struggled with whether or not I personally believe alcohol is a sin and what the Scriptures tell me about how I should conduct my life. I have had countless conversations with friends and family on both sides of the equation…all in the pursuit of gathering data.
Finally, I have arrived. Weary of internal turmoil, failing to see the value it adds to my life, exhausted in the analysis process, and cognizant of the happiness it brings another - I am finished. As unceremoniously as it entered my life, it exits and I have no doubt this is a continued part of the refining process my life has been experiencing. Sometimes we need that extra perspective to help us along the journey (at least I do)…and I am thankful for it.
Desirous never to return to the valley, I press onward striving for Christ alone to be the author and finisher of my faith!
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