I love the Mountains...I love the Rolling Hills

As I get older, I have slowly realized the things about myself that never seem to change. I like sleeping late, rainy nights, long runs, and slow music in the morning. Lately, I am in love with the song "Come to Jesus" by Chris Rice. It comforts me, gives me hope, and reminds me that God always calls us back to Him. It is my hope, that one day I can fully live my life in response to my desires to serve God - completely.

This weekend was extremely productive. I was truly blessed. I was humbled by my mom's willingness to help me in the yard without even being asked and am so thankful for her support. I also got to spend some time with my grandfather and my sweet friend Lindsey. Lindsey has been such a wonderful friend to me over the years. I feel so blessed for my amazing friends.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention the fantastic week that I had at Mountain Camp. I felt so privileged to be among the youth and to spend time in the presence of the Lord. Every year I am humbled and amazed by the campers preparation, intelligence, and humor. Serving them is easy. The Lord blessed us completely with great weather, not-so-great weather, beautiful hikes, and the opportunity to serve a person in need. There is nowhere I would rather have been that week than at Mountain Camp serving with my friends and brothers and sisters in Christ. I returned home to more amazingness. Thank you!

I have so many things to be thankful for and completely recognize that my blessings are only through God's grace. Onward I climb up the mountain...looking for Christ alone to be the author and finisher of my faith-

Traversing My Heart

Trite but true, “The only guarantee in life is that things will change.” Self-admittedly, I like change; however, change often stirs up your life in unfamiliar ways. These past few months have been full of rapid cycles of change. I am thinking differently about this world and my relationships with those in it.  

God has been putting on my heart things that I need to reconcile within myself and those I need to reach out to with arms of forgiveness.  When I think about the relationships that I struggle with – by far- my biggest struggle is that with my mother. Due to my own neurosis, and my life experiences, I have somewhat limited my relationship with her by how much I let her in. When I think about who I really am, it saddens me that she really doesn’t know or understand me fully. Now, my responsibility is to change that – to the extent that I can; however, the problem lies in not knowing how to do that. How do you open up when your instincts are yelling for you to protect yourself?

I often think that I haven’t given my mom the full opportunity to see who I am. I withhold details about my personal life due to fear of how things will be received and as a path of least resistance. Unfortunately, that precludes me from reaping the benefits of maternal support and love.  Deep within my soul, I know that my mother loves me more than herself and would do anything for me. How do I bridge the gap between that knowledge and actively opening up to her?  I am able to openly discuss compartmentalized topics with her with little to no reservation…the challenge becomes opening the flood gate and allowing her access to otherwise prohibited parts of me.  Here’s to the journey for continued growth. God’s patience with me is astounding.

Go thy way unto thy brother, and first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come unto me with full purpose of heart, and I will receive you.

3 Nephi 5:72



Contentment: Friend or Foe?

The word “contentment” leaves a bad taste in my life.  In the past, to me, contentment has meant apathy, stagnancy, and lack of ambition; however, today, God’s movement in my life is causing me to rethink what it truly means to be content. Can contentment = happiness? Being the nerd that I am, of course I looked up the word contentment to find out more about it. According to the dictionary Contentment is defined as: the state of being contented; satisfaction; ease of mind…or Contentment (adj): to be mentally or emotionally satisfied with things as they are….

Did that clear things up for you? It certainly didn’t for me. If we are to be a humble, thankful people…does that mean we have to be mentally or emotionally satisfied with thing as they are? Is it ungrateful and sinful to strive for things beyond what God has already blessed you with?  1 Timothy 6- 7 says: “Godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and raiment, let us be therewith content”.

Perhaps by restlessness comes from a lack of faith that God will provide me with all I need to be content.  I’ll get back to you on that thought….

Desirous never to return to the valley…I strive onward up the mountain…seeking for Christ, alone, to be the author and finisher of my faith.

Rambling Woman :)

The restlessness is back…and it is back in full force. I wonder if I am just innately restless and my soul will always long to wander. Does anyone else feel like this constantly or am I just insane? Goodbye 6 months of contentment…It was nice knowing you. J As my lens is changing, this time I wonder if the restlessness is something not of God....something that is trying to push me to feel I need to “attempt” to take back control of my life from Him. Well….it isn’t going to work this time. While I am restless (Am I Ever!), I continue to pray that God will lead me to my next whatever...and only He knows where and when that next whatever will be J

Lookout world…the traveling sisters are in the air again. Here we come Casper, Wyoming. You won’t even know what hit ya ;)

Come to the Mountain of the Lord

Rochelle developed a preparation guide for Mountain Camp this year. You can imagine my delight when I saw the title…”Forty Days of Preparation to Come to the Mountain of the Lord.” How perfect!!! The materials have been great, but today’s theme is particularly resonating with me…

James 4:7-8 -“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw high to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double-minded. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord and he shall lift you up.” 

In the valley, I often experienced an absence of the Holy Spirit in my life. I rarely felt God’s Spirit, and if I did, I questioned its authenticity. While I was intellectually self-actualized and fully aware of the reason for the void, I felt paralyzed by my own apathy. Through prayer, fasting, and repentance the Holy Spirit is working within me to resist the devil….and he is, indeed, fleeing from me! I have been asking myself lately what I am willing to give up for the Lord? As I struggle with reoccurring sins…I am being honest with myself…is any amount of sin acceptable before the Lord? Will Christ accept my rationalization and procrastination? Of course, the answer is no; however, the catch is translating intellectual thought to practice. And so...I will

continue to cleanse myself and seek Him...because, well, afterall....what else matters?

We’re marching to Zion, beautiful, beautiful Zion, we’re marching onward to Zion the beautiful City of God

The Assent...

Happy Tuesday everyone! The sun is shining and the awesomeness is abounding. There are so many things to be thankful for today. Thank you all for your encouragement in weathering the storm and waiting for God to rebuild me in the way he desires. I truly am blessed with the most amazing, sweet friends. The journey has already been pretty fantastic (insert Fantastic Voyage lyrics here) - I can’t wait to see what is around the corner.

The Lord is definitely providing me with massive amounts of assistance on this journey of refinement. Strikingly, I have been amazed at the inner peace and the contentment, even if fleeting, that comes with submission. Wow, I can’t believe I just typed that last sentence, but that truly is representative of how my lens is refocusing. Unfortunately, paralleling the joy attached to changing my heart is the sadness in the realization of my blindness, pride, and stubbornness. Ambiguity in my life’s trajectory is dissipating each day…and with that, comes a profoundly clear picture of what I have been missing.

Nonetheless, I am encouraged. God loves me (and you) and truly desires our happiness. While I haven’t always magnified my discernment in traversing the mountain range of life, and I most certainly have left my map at home (or brought the wrong one) at times, I continue to climb the mountain of faith – resolute to never return to the valley.  

Luke 9:62: And Jesus said unto him, No man having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.

Send Me Forth, Oh Blessed Master

As children, we crave the freedom and independence of adulthood

As adults, we longingly wish for the days of our carefree youth

This past weekend, I was blessed with 16 high school and middle school students

We traveled to a rather ordinary place, but the experiences we had were extraordinary

The youth showed loved, compassion, and resounding determination to serve the Lord

I was uplifted simply by being in their presence

Friends, God is moving. He is a living God  who works in our lives today – seeking to bless us if we just turn to Him! The field is white ready to harvest… The needs are great, but the laborers are few. I am determined, more than ever, that my life will be a living sacrifice...of His love.

Send Me Forth, Oh Blessed Master

Send me forth, oh blessed Master! Where are souls in sorrow bowed,

Send me forth to homes of want and homes of care.

And with joy I will obey the sound and in thy blessed name

I will take the blessed light of the gospel there

Refrain
Call me forth to active service And my prompt reply shall be,
“Here am I! send me.” I am ready to report for orders,
Master, summon me, And I'll go on any errand of love for thee.

There are lives that may be brightened by a word of hope and cheer,
There are souls with whom life's blessings I should share.
There are hearts that may be lightened of the burdens which they bear;
Let me take the blessed hope of the gospel there.

 

There is work within the vineyard, there is service to be done.
There's a message of salvation to declare;
Send me forth to tell the story to the hearts of sinful men.
Let me take the blessed Christ of the gospel there.

 Oh, I would not be an idler in the vineyard of the Lord;
With the Christ the vineyard labor I would share;
Into hearts that know not Jesus I would speak the saving word;
Let me take the blessed joy of the gospel there